“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone.” Humor keeps us smiling, and in a good mood most of the time. Comedians live longer lives because they laugh a lot, and are around people who do the same thing. Bob Hope lived to 100. Milton Berle was 94. One of the funniest lines was told by comedian Joe E. Louis who ended many shows with: “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” He died at age 70.
Some of the best humor material many times is at the expense of senior citizens. Here’s an example.
Has anyone noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries more costly and heavier to carry, and everything seems so far away? Like yesterday. I was walking to my corner coffee place, and was dumbfounded to discover how long my street had become. And, something else. People are not very considerate these days; especially the young kids. They speak in whispers most of the time, and if you ask them to speak up, they just seem to keep repeating the same silent messages until they’re red in the face. Do they think I’m a lip reader? Another thing that really drives me up the wall is how many times in a normal conversation they keep using the words: like and ya know. They’re as bad as those people on the weather channel who totally abuse the words: right now. If you take those two words out of a telecast, they be stuck with nothing to say. Doesn’t anybody ever complain about all this stuff?
I ran into an old friend of mine the other day, and she had aged so much she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear lady while I was combing what’s left of my white hair, and, in doing so, glanced in the mirror at my own reflection. Hey, even mirrors are not made the way they used to be.
I had my drivers license renewed last week. I had to take it three times. Damn tricky questions they put in the exam. Maybe they want me to stop driving. Speaking of that, have you noticed everybody is driving so fast these days? Scary stuff. If you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them you may be risking life and limb. Although, I did notice in my rear view mirror they are pretty quick to slam on their brakes, and skid into another lane to avoid me.
And those people who make bathroom scales really get me upset. Do they actually think I believe the number I see down below by my feet? Ha! I would never let myself weigh that much. I’d call them up and put in a complaint, but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy, too. The print in the phone book is so small you can’t find a number, let alone read it.
